I went from “Locked Down” to “Opened Up”
The morning after my 6-hour prostate surgery, a man came into my room at 5 AM, threw on the lights, and proceeded to take my blood. He finished without a word and the room went dark as he closed the door. I was stunned. I tried to fall back to sleep, but no way! My adrenaline was pumping!
Eventually, I watched a beautiful sunrise from my room. My wife helped me unplug the post-op compression boots and move my IV onto a pole with wheels. As we entered the ICU hallway, I cleared my throat and realized the space had a nice echo. I first began to hum, and then I sang: "Oh what a beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful day, I got a beautiful feeling, Everything's going my way." By the time I reached the nurse's station, to my surprise, they were on their feet clapping for me!
I could see right away, I had reached them in a way they did not expect. This simple act of singing my joy changed my relationship with the medical team from a “routine,” to a “preferred” patient. I began singing for my meds and received applause, some hugs, and special visits throughout the next day. Later on, I sang: “I don’t just sing in the morning, I’ll sing for you all day long. You must keep my services coming, and my pain meds going strong.” The nurses laughed and smiled.
Meanwhile, I was transformed from feeling "locked down" in the compression boots and IV, to being in an open, warm relationship with my medical team. Becoming a preferred patient put me in a better mood too. The ICU experience which began with a harsh wake-up blood draw, softened into a place of fun and healing.
My spontaneous singing changed the tone from static to dynamic. The staff seemed more engaged, and willing to have a conversation instead of just checking my vital signs and taking blood samples. I ceased to be a room number and a list of tasks.
In one chapter of my book "Antidote, A New Framework for Emotional Wellth," I am in a trauma ward after a nearly fatal accident. I felt the staff was insensitive to my pain and did not have time to engage with me. That dynamic changed when I revealed that I had a connection to their new CEO. The staff seemed to become more attentive. I learned that I could transform the relationship by making a more personal connection. After my cancer surgery, I employed the Love Wellth element I introduced in the book, by singing. It changed my patient-caregiver relationship. And that made all the difference.